Tiger Porn : 2018 Tigerfest Redemption

Tigerfest Redeems Itself

First off, I am curious to see what happens to my page visit count when throwing the word "Porn" into it. Probably nothing but its in Goolge's hands now.

Pics are at the end if you don't want to read the story.

Tigerfest 2018 was terrific for me. It wasn't improved from last year, probably got worse as less people attended but that made no difference in line waits and mass bad attitudes from staff and attendees. Don't get me wrong, the event is still the most unorganized scary mess you will ever see that pisses off at least 75% of its attenders. This year however, luck was on my side and having gone to so many I take it all in stride and leave it all to chance.
The Early Entry passes I scored made the difference. We got in line at 7:30am for the 10am open and had 150 people in front of us. So much for the idea of less people attending this year. One cool thing that happened was Ron Gardenhire, our new manager, showed up in the line and sat down and played cards with some fans and took pics and signed a little. Justin Verlander kind of started that last year and I think it was a nice touch for the new manager to do that for the fans. I found out in line (in Detroit Tigers form) Alan Trammell would not be signing at all at the event. Rumor has it his contract with DC Sports a memorabilia shop around my area wouldn't let him. So the list of guys not attending/not signing not claimed another signature I needed. I can't believe the Tigers would let this happen but nothing should surprise me with this organization anymore. I thought Tram would have to be one of the early entry signers because there were no other big names there. In line my brother and I got the low down on early entry from veterans of the early pass. As you enter you have a choice of left or right. Green ticket or Red ticket. It is very Matrix-y. My brother and I decided we would split up and then get back in line based on who was signing. The guys outside said every year they are able to get back in line and get both signers. They were wrong this year, which sucked for me. My brother chose correctly and got Michael Fulmer for Auto Session 'A' and I got Daniel Norris who is no slouch but I already got his auto this past summer and who's track record did not seem to me to be one of an early entry signer.

We rushed to get back in line and both went left to try to get another Fulmer but by then the "Normies" had been given entry and we got the next batch of signers. On the left was Craig Monroe and Daniel Stumpf. I need C-Mo for my next card project but Stumpf doesn't even have a MLB card out that I can find. Luckily, I had a card of his from the kids day giveaway at the ballpark last year. I told my brother I was going to trade somebody to get into the right line. Jordan Zimmermann was signing on that side. I really wanted Zimm's scribble so I waited for my chance. We got to the very end of the line and I spotted a drunk guy (10am) looking my direction. I worked out a trade with him and got into the Zimm line! My brother wasn't real happy and said I broke etiquette but you have to do what you have to do. The drunk guy got two autos instead of one and as we found out later when he spotted us leaving he met Jordan Zimmermann three other times that day. It all worked out for Auto Session 'B'.
Next, we scrambled to find the downstairs to get into that autograph line because the veterans in the morning line said downstairs always got the bigger names and the line seemed shorter. Well, this year there was no downstairs line. They were wrong, again. The time we wasted moving cost us Auto Session 'C'.
We found a line for Auto Session 'D' upstairs somewhere and got really lucky. Behind the press boxes we got JaCoby Jones! A PC guy! Brandon Inge was in attendance but I wouldn't get to see him. JJ is the next best thing. With Fulmer, Zimm, and Jones my brother and I both agreed our day was made and everything else was icing on the cake.

We found a shorter line on the concourse hoping for Session 'E' after asking 3 unhelpful employees upstairs how to get downstairs with the other hundred or so people frantically stuck out on the overhang with all obvious exits blocked off. We got in line and found out it was Daniel Stumpf and Johnny Barbato and Auto Session 'D' was still going on. Having already gotten Stumpf and having nothing for Barbato to sign we rolled the dice and walked to the back of the line for Auto Session 'E'. While in line Nicholas Castellanos was lead by his handler in error to our auto area. Pitcher Chad Bell was the lone signer for 'E' and had the unfortunate luck of having to sign for reluctant fans. Of course everybody started cheering and chanting and then the young woman found out she brought him to the wrong place so she took him away and everybody booed at being teased with a decent signer. My brother and I got Chad Bell who I jokingly chanted "Chad, Chad, Chad" for as he signed and he laughed and said that wasn't the first time Nick had been brought to one of his tables in error and that happened. He was cool.
We had time for one more auto so we jumped back in the same line for Auto Session 'F'. A security guard who had been monitoring that line all day said Nick Castellanos had not been to that table yet all day. Another person in line said he had only been in that line all day and rattled off all the minor leaguers he had gotten lone autos from and the only session he missed was the only mutli-player table with Brandon Inge, Todd Jones, and Spencer Turnbull. He had still done better than I did the year before but he was having a rough day. We expected the last signer to be someone decent. It was overdue. For some reason there was an hour between Bell leaving and the next signer showing up. People were getting a little rowdy for the unnecessary wait. Some of the Tiger cheer leaders or whatever they are came in and gave away three $10 gas cards. I had never seen giveaways for people in line before. I don't know why they don't do that more to keep spirits up, it cost them $30 to take our attention away from our throbbing knees and hips for 10 minutes. My brother actually won one.

This was the longest line we stood in. The line turns and heads up a three turn ramp just before the little bit of open light you see at the farthest point of the picture. We got free BitBits in line (Miguel Cabrera's candy). I ate them because I was starving, reluctantly. I would have rather seen one media post from him saying "Sorry I couldn't be there" instead of some candy samples.

Finally, the doors open and Nick Castellanos comes through with his entourage holding his son's hand. I knew he was never going to sign for an hour with his kid and family with him. Of course, the idiots in line started cheering and chanting as he walked past the table and booed as he went out the door and got in a car. I was actually surprised he stayed as long as he did. Fulmer was posting thanks for Tigerfest around noon and it was now 3:30. Drew VerHagen came in as the lone last signer. Most people bailed and left. We got Drew and then headed for home as the last lines were shut down early like they always are.

5X7

5X7

In sharpie because I used a Retail Logo ball instead of OMLB

Overall, our haul was good and we had a good time like always. I get a kick out of all the negative feedback this event gets but it really is just terribly planned. I really don't know why the Tigers even bother at this point with so many upset people every year. I am glad they put it on but if you're a Tiger fan be warned. You are better off paying for private signings than trying to get something signed at the ballpark at this event or a game.

MY PREVIOUS POST HAS A CONTEST THAT IS STILL GOING ON UNTIL NEXT SATURDAY. GET IN ON IT!

CONTEST! Emergency Tiger Post

I've never done an emergency post in a moment of rage before but this seems like the best time. 

 

 

FML

Of course in true Detroit Tigers fashion, they sold tickets to Tigerfest promoting Miguel Cabrera attending as well as Jose Iglesias. See pic:

NOW, the ball club I am now a former fan of and now root for because of my physical location on this god forsaken globe announced: Cabrera, Igelsias, Victor Martinez, and James McCann will NOT be at their precious money making event #Tigerfest. I know from instagram James McCann just had twins that are still in hospital last time I checked so I figured he would not be there. Victor Martinez stopped caring about baseball around 2011, and I in turn stopped caring about him shortly after so I am not surprised. But, they promoted the event using Iglesias and Cabrera as draws. I have typically given the organization the benefit of the doubt in these cases but this shit has happened too many times. They knew. They are claiming family health reasons for both guys. Maybe some details might sound a little better and ease the blow. I have always felt Iglesias was a cancer in the clubhouse since day one anyway. Miguel Cabrera is on a AAA roster at best as a future HOFer and only Superstar. He can pretty much do whatever he wants and the Tigers have to succumb to his whims.

Of frickin' course, this comes just days before the event and one day after I received early entry passes for the first time ever and posted a joyous knucklehead blog post about how much I was pumped for early entry. The best part is I gave up PC cards for those passes. Cards that should only see the light of day once a year and are kept behind lock and key. My only measly hope for the event now is to get Alan Trammell on the '78 RC to finish my project. I am really disappointed. Its funny, I am trying to compare it to other team's players who if they had a player not in attendance the whole event would be blown but other teams have more than one superstar. Maybe the D'Backs if Goldschmidt baled or Rockies without Arenado attending? I would still love to see Castellanos or Fulmer and a bunch of others but the Early Entry was solely for the purpose of a chance to get Miguel Cabrera's scribble.
I will still have a great time. I'm going with my brother again and we always have fun. If we somehow found a way to enjoy last year, this year will be a blast. I am just sick of the Tigers organization taking advantage of and crapping on the fans. They raised the price of Tigerfest this year and also the prices of season tickets and ticket packages by hundreds of dollars. The product is as bad as its been in nearly 20 years. Come on Tig's!

"EFF the Tigers" CONTEST TIME!

In the wake of all this bullshit I am going to run a contest. Please all government employees know this post and all comments are facetious and there is no danger to any Tiger's players from me and probably not from the commenters. 
Since this awful news I have been creating outlandish revenge plots in my head for the Tigers and Miguel Cabrera. I will list them below but want to hear some of your ideas for crazy revenge plots in the comments. Keep them "un-murdery" and stay on the humorous side if possible please. Again, this is all in fun. I will random all the comments for a Miguel Cabrera prize pack since I don't need any of his crap laying around anymore. I will probably throw in some other stuff that the winner likes too. I may even send stuff to the person(s) with the best comment. Have fun with it. Contest closes Saturday 02/03/2018 at midnight my time so I can read the comments and heal from a most probable shitty Tigerfest on the previous Saturday.

My first ideas to get the ball rolling:

1. Practice Miguel Cabrera's autograph until I am good enough to pass authenticity. Get an auto pen made of it and start spreading fake Miggy autos around the world until his autograph is worthless.
2. Start working out and juicing and get back into better shape than my playing days. Get a pitching role with an American League team within the next couple years. Bean Miggy every time he comes up.
3. Break into his candy factory (BitBits; its real, look it up) and screw up all the orders like Rob Lowe's character in Tommy Boy.
4. Find and hire a Miggy look alike and take him to Tigerfest to cause pandemonium and shorten the lines for myself.

 Thats just what came to mind right away. I hope I get a few of you to comment some good ones. Good Luck.

Tips for a Fun and Successful Tigerfest 2018

Detroit Tigerfest 2018 Is Upon Us

Tiger fans are fortunate that our organization puts on Tigerfest. I am sure they get 10,000 complaints about the event to every 1 praise. The event can really be a nightmare for a lot of people. I've been in shock many years at the deterioration of the organization and planning of the event from when I started going over a decade ago to the laughable shit-show it was last year. Don't get me wrong, I have fun every year and am very appreciative the Tigers put the event on but the amount of people squished against each other in such a small space, the lack of player cooperation, 4 hour lines, and absolutely zero staff to be found anywhere makes the event a rough one to say the least. I do however have some tips to help 'fest-goers enjoy their day a little more. These are based on past experience and every year is different so first tip;

1. Adapt. If you haven't been to this even before it may be a shock. If you have, don't get stuck in thinking it will be the same and lines will run similar to previous years and so on. Also, I don't know what is allowed in the event for bags. I usually take a backpack but security has gotten tighter recently so be able to lose the backpack and still have all your stuff somehow.
2. Take someone or something fun. Years ago I used to take girlfriends, that way I got double the autos. It is a LOOOOONG day so you will need to either build up or make up some brownie points. Careful though, Jeremy Bonderman flirted with my wife one year and I have yet to hear the end of it.
3. Try the tag team and trade approach. If you have a friend going and don't mind standing alone playing on your phone or whatever, get in different lines all day and then throw your autos in a hat and take turns pulling. It gives you better odds of getting who you want. 
4. One year I took my wife and sister and had those two stand in a different line than me all day. I got a ton of autos that year. You may have trouble finding people to do this for you. 
5. The lines are excruciatingly long standing on cement all day. Wear comfy shoes and clothes and layer! It could be -10 degrees outside and 80 degrees inside the buildings. 
6. Take entertainment. Even if you are going with someone. Make sure you have some netflix stuff downloaded. Bring back up batteries or extra devices as you wont find a plug to charge on. I used to bring my Sony PSP system. I had extra batteries and I could watch movies and play games while standing by myself. This year I will have 3 different phones and I may pack my portable DVD player.
7. Keep an open mind. Everyone there is some degree of Tiger fan. From the children crying all over, the idiots who don't understand personal space in line, to the drunk fat chicks whooing every 5 minutes. Drink it in as a Tigers event and try to enjoy it all. Baseball is a long way off in Motown, this is as close as it gets right now.
8. Stick to one line! The players signing autographs rotate every half hour. You won't even get a fraction of everybody. Last year I got two autographs in 6 hours of line waiting and neither guy ended up on the roster for the full year. If you jump lines you may end up getting the same guy twice. Sometimes a good thing as in the first year I went when I got Magglio Ordonez 3 times. But more often its the guy you could care less to see you get stuck with. Don't bother trying to chase players either as there is no line that is short enough to jump in to get to the player currently signing. The fastest line I ever stood in was 45 minutes in 10 or so Tigerfests.
9. Get your picture taken alone if you go to that line. I had a really sweet picture with Magglio one year that is now trash because of an ex-girlfriend taking up half the shot.  

Me and my wife (when we were dating) a hundred years ago with Tim Byrdak. Keep in mind the staff does not know how to frame a picture.

For the more advanced Tigerfesters here is how I pack for the event:

• I have a binder of all active players with at least two cards I want signed for each guy doubled up in each sleeve. The card facing out is my first choice and the other is second in case I get someone twice. It happens. Again, the event is organized by chimps. Also, I bring balls, game used stuff, 8x10s and 5x7s. I used to make a paper checklist showing what I brought for each guy so I was fast to have it ready. Now, I write with a sharpie on the card page for the player if I have an item like a 5x7 I would rather have signed first priority. 

Here is an example of my prioritizing. I would rank cards 1-3 and also make notes right on the pages of other items I wanted signed before I turned to cards.

• Last year they did not put out a player list at all. We went in blind. I was able to trade with a guy in line for a Mike Pelfrey card since I didn't bring one. This year they listed about 15 players so far but I doubt they release the full list. I look at who signs locally at card shows for past players and make sure I take their cards. Coaches, managers, prospects, broadcasters are all possible on top of the active roster. 
• I bring extra cards in case I need to trade or am able to help somebody out who doesn't have anything to have signed. You would be surprised how many people go to Tigerfest without even a ball to have signed and stand in line to have the program or ticket signed. Concessions are open and sell balls if all else fails. I used to bring "scrub" pictures and balls. Generic pictures any prospect I didn't have a card of could sign or a non official ball they could mark up so I had something for anybody who could possibly be there.

All this may be very, very overkill for such a short event but; what else baseball related is going on right now? Plus, no players sign for adults at Comerica Park on the home team side so this is the only chance I have of getting some fresh scribbled ink.